25 Things of Amnesty

So after a night of intense box packing, including some pretty important decisions like “Which ginormous chunky earrings do I take?  How many aqua eyeshadows will I really need?”, I’ve fallen into a tired heap, albeit over a glass of tasty dry white, and have nothing left in the blog bank tonight.  So, I’m recycling one of those procrastination emails that went around the office long long ago.  So without further ado, for your utmost enjoyment, 25 Things of Amnesty

1. I won best smile on class photo day at kindergarten and got to drive the ‘fire engine’ in my kindergarten class photo. My hat matched my hair!

2. I once wanted to be a zoologist specialising in primates.

3. I’d love to learn guitar and busk my way through France.

4. At 3pm every afternoon at work I make cups of tea for me and my bosses. 1 white Earl Grey with no sugar, 1 standard white with 1 sugar and one English Breakfast black with 2 sugars. I’ve refined the system to the most efficient possible and morphed into a human tea making assembly line.

5. I think that people complaining that God hates them or is punishing them is the most ridiculous thing. God even loves Hitler….seriously, and he’s up there with pretty much the biggest baddies of all time. Hitler, that is…not God!

6. I hate the idea of a ‘favourite’ thing because it forces me to choose, when my tastes are more varied than a 120 pack of Derwent pencils.

7. I have no problem wearing yellow, pink and green eyeshadow all on the one day. I love stealing looks from Doe Deere.

8. I’m trying very hard not to use this list to vent about things that annoy me the heck out of me, so I’ll name just one….mismanagement of money. Working at an accounting firm does that to you.

9. I think Martha Stewart is fabulous.

10. I lived in a town in Japan that literally meant “Finger Lodge”

11. I love documentaries, especially history ones.

12. Roller coasters make me laugh hysterically with delight.

13. I am terrified of balloons.

14. I wish more people were willing to go on road trips and other spontaneous adventures.

15. I thought Jesus hid behind the curtain on the altar at Torquay Uniting Church when I was little. I was too scared to stand near it in case He gave me a fright.

16. Car rallies bring out the competitive control freak in me.

17. My first solo was on stage at Geelong Performing Arts Centre singing “Please Don’t Call Me a Koala Bear” aged 5 years old. There was no koala outfits so they dressed me in a Brisbane Bears football uniform. I rocked it.

18. People at work believe I am a computer genius. I am really a Google genius. I always make them wait 5 minutes before providing the answer to their question.

19. People are consistently horrified that I haven’t watched The Notebook.

20. I won the Obstacle Course race in Grade 2 at school sports. A minor victory for all pigeon-toed red heads.

21. I had a crush on a guy in one of my classes last year who loved everything I did, musicals, singing, dancing, theatre….I came to my senses 4 weeks later and realised he was gay.

22. I have no problem sending a plate back to the kitchen if it isn’t what I ordered. I also tend to do this on behalf of my friends too, which for some reason embarrasses them.

23. I love it when I get horrible customer service while mystery shopping.

24. Once I was so sick that in my delirium I believed I was the Oriental Queen of Asia.

25. I am a food snob.

Welcome to the Neighbourhood – In a nut(cracker) shell….

In the spirit of Christmas lists and all things festive, but mostly due to my impending 12 months departure, I’ve noticed I’m appreciating all the quirky, all the mundane, and all the unique parts of my neighbourhood.

-  I love driving down Bellevue Avenue after work knowing that I will see the same little old man in his armchair at his patio window  reading his paper.  The lounge room always looks cosy and warm.   He looks like he would always have shortbread for visitors.  He looks like a shortbread loving kind of guy.

-  Twilight jogs along Mulquiney Crescent with their perfect manicured lawns and twinkling Christmas lights.  It even comes with its own stereotypical family dog faintly barking in the distance.

-  I’ll miss the silent lawn war messages from an “anonymous” neighbour.   Word of advice – we know who you are, we laugh at you and sending us passive aggressive thank you cards for overgrown lawns just make us want to grow a jungle even more.

-  Knowing I live so close to the movie theatre that it’s just as quick to walk there as it is to battle it out for a coveted car park between La Porchetta and Readings.

-  Heading home in the wee hours of the morning and seeing my Zim galpals place just around the corner are still up and are more than happy for me to randomly pop in at 1am for some Man vs Wild delight.  (Alaska, you’re still my favourite ep!)

-  Doing the dishes at 6am while a sunrise slowly blinds me in the most delightful way never gets old.

-  The Deck is my favourite spot for Sunday arvo chillaxing.  Always a familiar face to be found, a tasty glass of sav blanc and acoustic guitarist that take requests

-  I love having a post office box nearby.  They’re quite rare nowadays.  The fact it is across the road from my galpals is even better.  It makes posting a letter such the social catchup.

21 more days in my lovely neighbourhood.  I wonder what my new one will bring?  Ponder ponder ponder…

Merry Christmas my lovelies.

Amnesty

Woohoo!….wait…zzzzz….COFFEE!….yeah!….urgh….zzzzz….. a.k.a JETLAG

At the best of times, I am well known for daily blonde moments involving seemingly straight forward acts such as walking and using the English language correctly.   I know the looks I get.  The bemused raised eyebrows, the not quite concealed giggles, and the unshamed bellows of laughter at the ins and outs of watching Amnesty negotiate life in general.  Coordination and clarity are clearly not my strong point!

Today in the kitchen, we whip up the lovely combination of an insomniac with jetlag in a vintage shaker; when the bar tender of airtravel pours me out, you find your glass has been rimmed with a extra heavy layer of “voices in your head”.  Yessireee…..pass GO, collect $200, Amnesty has moved to a whole new level of Whacky.

I bought a dress today.  A dress that I have no specific or valid location to wear to.  While cocooned in the soft white drapes of the mall department store change room, I managed to successfully have a conversation with my sister, in my head, on the pros and cons of ‘the dress’.

 

Amnesty:  I look like a Christmas tree.

Stylish Sis: A hot Christmas tree.

Amnesty: Who buys a dress with no place to wear it to?????

Stylish Sis:  “*syntax error* – fatal.  does not compute………”

Amnesty:  ……errr….

Stylish Sis: BUY THE DRESS YOU MORON!!!! ARGH!!!!!

 

Sis can be scary….I bought the dress.